Alert, alert, alert!
You three criminals have been caught in a further act of seditious treason.
General Zod, your only feeling was contempt for our society.
Your only desire was to command.
Ursa, the only feeling you showed was for your vicious general.
Your only wish, to rule at his side.
Non, you are as without thought as you are without voice.
This council has no hesitation in proclaiming you...
... all guilty!
Guilty!
You will lie down before me, Jor-El.
Both you and them one day, Jor-El.
Jor-El!
- Here, I'll just get the door for you. - Yeah, thanks...
Sorry, after you.
- 'Morning, Phil. - Excuse me, Kent.
Hi, Alice. That's a very pretty blouse you're wearing today...
Catch you later, Clark.
Hello. I don't know. Okay...
- 'Morning, Louise. - I'll check it.
Mr. White, how long should the pressroom hold the front page?
Give it another 10 minutes. I'll tell him.
Thank you.
If we don't get anything new in the next 10 minutes...
...go with the wire service copy under the 40 point banner. Picture in 3 columns.
Kent, do a background story for the page three sidebar on this terrorist group.
Right!
Sorry. Terrorists?
Get your heads out of the clouds. Where have you been?
I was at home.
Don't you watch TV?
I don't enjoy TV, there's too much violence. I was just reading Dickens.
Mr. Kent, a gang of terrorists seized the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
He knows where the Eiffel Tower is, Olsen. You do, don't you, Kent?
- Yes. Has anyone been hurt? - So far the hostages are unharmed.
Hostages?
- Tourists, about 20 of them. - That's just penny ante stuff.
If the French government doesn't meet their demands...
...they've got a Hydrogen bomb to level Paris.
Mr. White, that's terrible!
That's why they call them terrorists, Kent.
Get to the morgue. I want to know everything there is on terrorism...
Does Lois know about this yet?
- Does she know about it? She's in it! - She's what?
When the story broke, I bundled her on the first Concorde.
If Paris might go kablooey, I want my best reporter there.
But gee...
No offense. You're good, but Lois Lane is better.
No, I meant, isn't that a little bit dangerous, sir?
That goes with the territory, Kent.
Don't worry, if I know Lois Lane, she'll not only come back...
...with a Pulitzer Prize story, but a one-on-one interview...
...with the hydrogen bomb titled: "What Makes Me Tick."
Now don't stand around, Kent...
Merci, Merci.
How did they get up there?
They were disguised as workers to do repairs.
Can you say why they released the first hostages?
We insist they do this to show good faith. If not, we refuse to negotiate.
Will they release the other hostages?
In return for a guarantee that we will not launch an attack on them.
There will no be attack? No attempt to overpower the terrorists?
- We've made this guarantee. - You'll honor it?
We have not the choice to refuse.
If we believe it's a real hydrogen bomb they have.
Where is the bomb?
It's in a big oil can.
A hydrogen bomb? Are you sure?
How can we be sure? Today it's possible to make a bomb if you have the equipment.
- This could blow up all of Paris. - Oui.
The position of your government? Will they meet the demands?
I am not authorized to say what they will do.
At this moment there is an emergency meeting in the Elysée Palace.
Non, ce n'est pas possible.
Excusez-moi? No. No comprende. Moi, journaliste Americaine.
Non, non, c'est interdit! Complètement interdit.
Attends. Wait.
- Voilà. Qu'est-ce que c'est le mot pour... - Qu'est-ce que vous voulez?
- Stairs. Stairs? - Stairs...
S-T... S-T-A...
Mademoiselle!
We'll bring them down now.
Get in.
- Come on. Watch out for any tricks. - Do we look like the sort...
I don't know what you look like.
You're being released, so shut up.
- Come on then, everybody out. - Okay, we're ready.
This way.
Come on. Quick.
Look, you're being released. Get moving.
I'll take a last look around.
Okay, send them down.
Up we go.
Pulitzer Prize.
Capital P...
Should we have let the hostages go?
They'll give in to us as soon as we plant the bomb.
It doesn't matter one way or the other.
Nobel Prize. Capital N...
...little o, little b...
...little e, little I.
Nobel. Nobel. Nobel, Nobel...
Prize!
Be careful.
It's me that controls the bomb, not the bomb that controls me.
I hope you have not many sins left to be forgiven.
Because if you let go of that, you'll have only 60 seconds to list them.
You are right. Do you hear something?
It sounded like someone moving underneath.
It's your nerves.
Where are they now?
They are near to the lift.
One is still inside with the bomb.
Ils sont près de l'ascenseur. Y en a un dedans avec la bombe. Il y en a un qui sort.
The third one has come out of the lift now.
The third one is out now.
The bomb is still in there?
Yes, we think so.
This is the boring bit.
Tell them to get ready.
Standby. Attention! Préparez-vous.
Get ready.
Come on.
We'll cut the lead cable when we get the word.
Haven't they had time to find the bomb?
Of course not. They haven't. We've been watching them all the time.
Vas-y! Go. Now!
- It started! - Oh, my God.
I believe this is your floor.
Thank God.
How did I get myself into this?
- Are you all right? - Yes.
- A bomb! There's a bomb up there! - I know.
Fresh melons here! Nice fresh melons...
Hi, Lois.
Hi, Clark.
Clark!
- Have you ever heard of crosswalks? - Yeah, but you know, I mean...
Do you have any idea how stupid that was?
Freak!
Clark, you were lucky that time.
You must more careful. To cross the street you've got to look both ways.
Lois, usually I do.
Maybe you ought to get your glasses checked.
Not everybody can have "x-ray vision," you know.
Do I detect a note of jealousy in that voice?
Jealousy? No, not me.
Golly Lois, what are you doing?
When was the last time you heard me sneeze?
You are never going to hear me sneeze again!
I read this book, and it says if you get 1,000 milligrams...
...of vitamin C every day, you stay in perfect health.
Golly, 1,000? That's certainly a lot of oranges, isn't it?
- There are pills, you know. I've seen them. - Pills. That's the modern way to do things.
This is natural.
Besides, I get my exercise that way.
And Clark, you don't have to be jealous.
I don't?
No, you've got so much going for you.
I do?
Do you mind if I give you a little constructive criticism?
- Actually, yes. - Be more aggressive! You have to...
...go from the instinct. You see something, you want it, you go for it!
That's what I do.
Yes, I've noticed.
- Perhaps I could help you there. - Thanks, that would be great.
Let's see.
You put the orange in there. That's very clever.
Clark...
...you know that I wouldn't say all those things if I didn't really care.
You do?
What else are friends for?
"Friends"?
Here.
Here's to friendship.
This is how it ends for the greatest criminal mind of our time.
Not with a whimper. Not with a bang.
How do they choose to reward Lex Luthor...
...the greatest genius in this world?
Do they give him glory or treasure? What, matter of fact, do they give him?
Life plus 25, Luthor. Get to work.
Don't feel bad, Mr. Luthor. It almost worked.
I mean, California almost fell down right in the ocean.
Millions of people almost died.
If it hadn't been for Superman, that overgrown Boy Scout...
I want my Liberace record back tonight.
What are you going to do with a guy like that?
He flies around so fast and everything.
I mean they can't even trace that guy on that radar they got.
Every time they try he just flies off.
- Where? - North.
Why?
To ski?
Every man has his vulnerable point.
Some, like you Otis, have more than one.
I didn't see Superman's in time.
But now through patience, invention, and skill...
...my little black box is just about ready.
Oh! That little black box in our cell.
That little black box, Mr. Luthor.
What's it for?
That little black box goes beyond any conventional radar.
It tracks alpha waves.
Alpha waves.
Those alpha waves will take me north to his secret.
And his secret will give me Superman.
The MAB is 196 at.5.
We ought to see the old beauty when we...
You follow the bouncing ball for a while. It's giving me a headache.
Anyway, somebody's got to check up on those guys.
Yeah, I keep forgetting about them.
How long they been up there, 45 days?
The whole world's forgotten about us.
Houston calling Artemis II.
Houston calling Artemis II, come in.
'Morning, Houston.
Hold on, Nate.
- Yo! - How are things going?
All systems normal, Houston.
Andy is out doing the geological survey...
More rocks.
And Cosmonaut Boris is getting some soil samples.
By the way, Boris and I are engaged.
I had a feeling about you guys when I saw your Rorschach tests.
Just a little détente humor there, Houston.
Surface conditions unchanged?
It's mighty pretty out there. Mighty...
...pretty.
Mighty pretty, right.
Look, Nate...
Nate, wake up, will you?
That's it. I'm dreaming.
Artemis, come in.
Houston, we seem to have an unidentified flying object.
Unidentified?
- What does it look like? - A lot like a...
...like a girl.
You.
- What kind of a creature are you? - Just a man.
A man?
What's your name? Where are you from?
What a fragile sort of life form it is.
Houston, come in. Houston!
Come in, Houston.
Houston!
Somebody help me!
- Artemis, this is Houston calling. - What's up?
- Artemis, Houston calling. Come in please. - What's going on?
- I don't know. We've lost contact. - So?
I mean really.
Artemis, come in please. Houston calling.
What was that he said before? He saw a girl?
- I thought he said "curl." - What's a "curl"?
Isn't that what the old Canaveral guys used to call a comet on an east-west trajectory?
How should I know? I was in back high school in those days.
Strange. I tore those metal fibers like paper.
And what he did...
...was amazing!
- Something is happening. - Yes. To all of us.
The closer we come to an atmosphere with only one sun...
...a yellow sun...
...the more our molecular density gives us unlimited powers!
They come from there...
...a place called Houston.
Then we will go there too.
To rule.
Finally... to rule!
380 out.
381 out.
382 out.
383 out.
384 out.
385 out.
Lights out, Luthor.
I said, "Lights out!"
You guys are about ten seconds away from solitary, you know that?
I told you to...
Freeze, freeze!
Go out there and find it.
- What am I looking for? - You'll know when you see it.
I think I found it.
What is it?
It's a ladder, you dummy.
Hi, Miss Teschmacher.
Come on.
Hurry up.
Come on, hurry.
Otis, hold that ladder, hurry up.
Come up.
Here I come, Mr. Luthor.
Otis, we're sinking!
Get off, get off!
Excuse me.
If you'd like to carry Mrs...
...Smith over the threshold...
- What? - It's sort of traditional.
I can give you a hand if you have trouble lifting...
No. Of course not.
- Honey. Thanks, I'll walk. - Certainly, dear.
- Here you are. - Sure is pink.
Careful with the bags, please.
First visit to Honeymoon Haven?
- Yes. - Together, anyway.
Yes.
Let me just show you some of our special features.
These are our "Flames of Love," exclusive with this motel in the area.
If you want the flames to go higher, you just pull this.
I see.
- Look dear, that's kind of romantic. - In July?
Honey?
For a nominal charge, our staff photographer will be happy...
...to prepare a special souvenir album of your honeymoon stay.
He'll photograph you in some of our more intimate locations...
...in the "tub for two", on the bear skin rug...
Gee, real polyester!
And here's the bed.
Right. Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
Of course.
- Thank you. - Thank you, sir. And have a happy...
...whatever.
Can you believe this?
Posing as newlyweds to expose a honeymoon racket in Niagara Falls!
What a waste of a great writer. Writers.
Perry White and his Sunday magazine exposés.
How am I supposed to get a Pulitzer Prize writing about a pink bear?
I don't know, I think this should be exposed.
They get kids who are just starting out and take them for every cent.
That's what Mr. White says.
On the other hand, this is kind of nice. "Complimentary Champagne."
- Kissing contest tonight. - Really?
Lois would... no.
Look at this.
Lois? Gee.
Look, I found a complimentary corsage.
Everything's complimentary here until you get the bill.
Gee, you look very pretty.
- Thank you, Clark. - Sure.
You know, Lois, I was sort of thinking, later on...
...I was just wondering what you wanted to do about the arrangements.
What arrangements, Clark?
I was thinking primarily about the...
...the sleeping arrangements.
Mr. Smith...
...the complimentary couch. - Right.
What?
Gosh, it's alive.
Very good, Miss Teschmacher. Very good!
Why am I here? What am I doing here?
Miss Teschmacher, is this a philosophy seminar?
No.
This is a getaway.
- Getaway? - Right.
Lex, how could you do that to Otis?
What else is ballast for?
Miss Teschmacher...
...north. Due north.
Right, north.
- Where's Jimmy Olsen when I need him? - Isn't it beautiful?
Just gorgeous. Gorgeous.
- Lois? - Yes?
Everybody's holding hands. Maybe we should hold hands, too?
- Here's my hand Clark, hold it. - Thanks.
You know what? They're afraid to let go.
- Why? - If they let go, straight to the lawyer.
I don't know about that. They look kind of happy to me.
Because you're blind.
Yeah.
- Here. - No, I've got it.
You've got to look after yourself. You've only got one pair of eyes.
Lois...
Here.
- Right. - Don't say I never did anything...
Thank you.
Son! Excuse me, please.
Be careful!
Get down. Get down!
You're embarrassing me in front of everybody.
Did you see what almost happened there? That little boy...
I'm hungry. Are you hungry?
- Lois, you're amazing. - Because I'm hungry?
No, I mean here you stand with one of nature's most awesome spectacles...
...and you're thinking about food. Aren't you impressed?
Once a girl's seen Superman in action, Niagara Falls kind of leaves you cold.
- You know what I mean? - Him again?
I'm sorry.
I have a one-track mind, don't I?
My one track mind's telling me that I'm hungry.
- Hot dog? - Hot dog.
- Could I have some orange juice? - Freshly squeezed, I know.
Mom, look!
Yeah, honey, that's nice.
Oh, my God!
Help!
Somebody help!
Way to go, Superman!
What a nice man!
- There you go. - Again! Again!
I'm sorry. Only one ride to a customer.
Superman! Superman, it's me, Lois!
Come here. You're going to get it! Give me a heart attack...
It's me. It's Lois. Lois Lane.
Hello and goodbye.
What's the hurry, seeing as you happen to be in Niagara Falls?
Happen to be in Niagara Falls...
And, Clark...
Clark is not around as usual.
Lois?
- Here you go. - Where were you?
I was getting hot dogs. What do you mean?
It just seems kind of strange to me that every time Superman's around, you...
...disappear.
Superman? You mean he was here? Golly!
And you weren't. As usual.
- What have you got to say about that? - Darn, I forgot your orange juice.
Clark!
No orange juice?
- Mush! Mush! - I am mushing.
Ice and snow: Is this your idea of a good time?
A good time? Is that all you care about? North, Miss Teschmacher.
North!
Yes, Lex, north.
Look. It's his home. It's Superman's home.
Good, more ice.
- Fantastic! - Fantastic.
It's fantastic!
The construction goes far beyond any known architectural theory.
- It's beautiful. - Beautiful.
- This place is genius! - Genius.
- Lex! - I'll be all right.
No, me.
Why can't you be more careful?
- This is beautiful. - Beautiful.
- It has everything. - Wrong.
- Why didn't you go before we left? - That was two days ago.
This looks like some kind of control panel.
- Don't touch anything. - Don't touch anything.
- Ice. - I said don't touch it.
- It's not ice. - It looks like a crystal.
Kryptonian memory bank, education crystal #308.
- I told you it was a crystal. - Shut up!
Earth culture, Section B.
"Trees" by Joyce Kilmer, of the Planet Earth.
What?
"I think that I shall never see a poem lovely as a tree...
He's not here. It's a voice from the past. That's cute. That's very cute.
"...a tree that looks at God all day"...
I like trees!
So does your average cocker spaniel. Give me another one.
No. The big one there.
Kal-El, my son...
... as the Keeper of the Archives of Krypton...
... it falls to me to tell you of the darkest episode in our planet's history.
Now this I want to hear.
After many eons of harmony, there appeared among us three rebel elements...
... what you would call on Earth, "criminals."
Criminals? My kind of people.
Despite all our efforts, we were unable to change their evil natures, their evil ways.
As you know, we hath no death penalty.
Sensible enough.
Therefore, our scientists constructed...
..."The Phantom Zone".
In it, we placed these three arch-criminals...
... imprisoning them there for all eternity.
No possibility for parole?
Your father, Jor-El, thought long and hard upon that question.
I asked the right question.
There is one danger. The Phantom Zone might...
... just might, be cracked by a nuclear explosion in space.
I wish you hadn't asked me that...
I didn't ask anything.
We do not know what would happen if they were to escape.
On Krypton, these villains were uncontrollable.
On Earth, they would have the same powers, each one of them...
... that you have.
Think of it.
- The first of the three... - Three.
...is their leader, General Zod. - Count them, three super-villains.
- Together with Non and Ursa... - Each one with the same power he has.
Each one totally dedicated to corruption, violence, and evil.
Wait. That explains the three Alpha Waves I've been getting on my black box.
They'll need a contact here on Earth.
Someone with the same contempt for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
South, Miss Teschmacher!
You know, it's really amazing.
I never started to put it together before now. It's just kind of funny...
...because a good reporter can't let anything slip by her.
- Of course not. - I'm beginning to get the picture.
As usual, Lois, I really don't know what you're talking about.
Tell you what, I'll meet you back at the hotel.
What's your hurry, Superman?
Sorry?
I've got to admit, your disguise is nearly perfect. You had me fooled.
And I am nobody's fool, believe me.
No, of course not.
You just have an active imagination. You get carried away sometimes.
- I understand. It can happen to anybody. - Listen...
...I'm so sure that you're Superman that I'm willing to bet my life on it.
What?
If I'm right, you'll turn into Superman.
If I'm wrong...
...you've got yourself one hell of a story.
You think I'm Superman?
Boy, you certainly have some imagination.
For a minute, you almost had me convinced. For a minute.
Bye-bye, baby.
Oh, my god!
Excuse me, please.
Help!
Superman!
Lois, swim!
Help!
Look out for the rocks! Oh, God!
Clark!
- Grab that branch! - What?
Help!
Lois, you all right?
Here!
- You were what I thought was Superman? - Sorry.
This is really embarrassing.
So this is planet Houston?
A very strange surface.
A primitive sort of life form.
Did you see that?
Did you see what I did?
I have powers beyond reason here.
We all have them, my dear.
I must've looked like an idiot...
...jumping in the river, waiting for Mr. Wonderful...
...who obviously had better things to do.
I'm sure it must've been something very important, Lois.
And then thinking you were...
If Perry White could see me now...
Where's my comb?
God, not only have I lost my mind, I lost my comb.
Can you pass me that brush over there?
Sure.
- No. It's okay. - Let me see your hand. Give it to me.
- No. It's all right, Lois. - Let me look at it.
- You are Superman. - Come on, don't be silly.
I'm sorry.
No, you don't have anything to be sorry about.
I don't know why I did that.
Maybe you wanted to.
I don't think I did.
Maybe you didn't want to with your mind, but maybe you wanted to with your heart.
We'd better talk.
I'm in love with you.
We really better talk.
I'm listening.
We can't talk here. Perry will call at about 6:00 to find out what's happening.
"What's happening"? That's the understatement of the year.
Where do you want to... talk?
Lois...
...now that you know, I think you should know it all.
I want to.
Let's go to my place.
Maybe I should change first.
Maybe you should, too.
- They have a wide selection. - I can't eat fish.
You can eat anything you want, Duane. You can eat meat and potatoes.
I couldn't go anywhere where I was expected to eat fish.
They got beans.
I can't eat beans. I come out in a rash if I eat beans.
Look, Duane, they have a wide selection.
I think I'll try the fish.
I don't know, from the look of them, I'll bet $10 they're from Los Angeles.
Hey, hippies! Get your butts off the road!
I like the globe that flashes red like our Krypton sun.
But not this irritating noise.
Make way!
Did I hear right? Did that son of a bitch give me an order?
Duane, you take care of it.
But...
You got to learn to kick ass if you want to be a peacemaker.
All right. Just what in the hell do you think you're doing here?
What is this symbol? Do you follow another leader?
Follow the leader?
Holy skunk sweat!
- All right. - A weapon of some sort?
How in the hell did you do that?
Jesus H. Christ!
Crude noise-maker.
Just checking the tire...
- Wow, this is your home! - No.
Actually, I live in the city, about three blocks from you.
This is a very special place for me.
I wanted you to see it.
Listen, you warm enough?
I guess I should be freezing, but I'm not.
Good. Come on, let me show you.
You see? You only smell strong.
Baby!
It's only because I didn't want to lose my place in the orchestra.
The circus is in town!
Hey, sweet thing! Set them buns down here!
Let's just hold hands.
Let me know if this tickles.
Your right front tire is flat, Duane.
Sheriff, what happened?
Willie...
I think my arm's broke.
Girl or no girl...
...you're going to spit teeth! Get up!
What the sam hill?
Is that you, Boog?
All right.
Get 'em up, keep 'em up!
These humans are beginning to bore me.
- Please, Mister! - He's a general.
Mr. General! Please let my daddy down!
You okay, Jody?
When my father died...
...this is my Earth father, I mean...
...I found this crystal.
This is kind of hard to explain, but you see...
...it called to me.
Yeah. And it brought me here.
It helped me to build this place.
Actually it built it, really.
That's when I found out who I really was...
...and what I had to do.
So what do you think? You like it?
Like it?
It's incredible!
I mean, not that it couldn't use a woman's touch...